"WHAT EACH KISS MEANS"
- Kiss on the Forehead: We're cute together .
- Kiss on the Cheek: We're friends.
- Kiss on the Hand: I adore you.
- Kiss on the Neck: I want you, now.
- Kiss on the Shoulder: Your perfect.
- Kiss on the Lips: I LOVE YOU...
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WHAT EACH GESTURE MEANS:
- Holding Hands: We definitely like each other.
- Holding you tight pressed against each other: I want you.
- Looking into each other's Eyes: I like you, for who you are.
- Playing with Hair: Let's fool around.
- Arms around the Waist: I like you too much to let go.
- Laughing while Kissing: I am completely comfortable with you.
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ADVICE:
- If you were thinking about someone while reading this, you're definitely
in Love.

diary of her

sec 1
As I sat there in in class, I stared at the girl next to me. She was my so called "best friend". I stared at her long, silky hair, and wished she was mine. But she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it. After class, she walked up to me and asked me for the notes she had missed the day before and handed them to her. She said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I wanted to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

sec 2
The phone rang. On the other end, it was her. She was in tears, mumbling on and on about how her love had broke her heart. She asked me to come over because she didn't want to be alone, so I did. As I sat next to her on the sofa, I stared at her soft eyes, wishing she was mine. After 2 hours, one stay home movie, and three bags of chips, she decided to go to sleep. She looked at me, said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

sec 4
The day before prom she walked to my locker. My date is sick" she said; he's not going to go well, I didn't have a date, and in sec 1, we made a promise that if neither of us had dates, we would go together just as "best friends". So we did. Prom night, after everything was over, I was standing at her front door step. I stared at her as she smiled at me and stared at me with her crystal eyes. I want her to be mine, but she isn't think of me like that, and I know it. Then she said "I had the best time, thanks!" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Graduation Day
A day passed, then a week, then a month. Before I could blink, it was graduation day. I watched as her perfect body floated like an angel up on stage to get her diploma. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it. Before everyone went home, she came to me in her smock and hat, and cried as I hugged her. Then she lifted her head from my shoulder and said, "you're my best friend, thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

A Few Years Later
Now I sit in the pews of the church. That girl is getting married now. I watched her say "I do" and drive off to her new life, married to another man. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn't see me like that, and I knew it. But before she drove away, she came to me and said "you came!". She said "thanks" and kissed me on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Funeral
Years passed, I looked down at the coffin of a girl who used to be my "best friend". At the service, they read a diary entry she had wrote in her high school years. This is what it read: I stare at him wishing he was mine, but he doesn't notice me like that, and I know it. I want to tell him, I want him to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love him but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why. I wish he would tell me he loved me! `I wish I did too...` I thought to my self, and I cried.

Life's Woes ( 4th entry )

If life is like a cup of coffee, then the coffee is the problems we face and the sugar added is love, and the creamer is friends and family. In the end, the cup of coffee is bittersweet.

To keep my mind of life's woes, i spend time with my family and friends. And even though sometimes i would forget to balance my work with my playtime, and get scolded for obvious reasons, I would almost always get back on my feet and take the setbacks with a pinch of salt. Well, when times are too bad for my will to take, I find hope in my family and spending time with them brings me joy and relief.

When I was young, my parents would almost always read books to me, fly kites and play board games. However, as I grew slowly into the introvert I am now, the time we spend every week is greatly reduced.

One of the most memorable times I had with my family, namely my older brother, father, and mother, was that time we played basketball. If I'm not mistaken, it was just last Saturday.

Zooming in towards the hoop, my father thew the ball with awesome force against the hoop, leapt up, caught the rebound and slammed the ball down for 2 points. We could only watch and see him own the battlefield with his muscular stature and enormous strength. Mother, who was waiting for us at the nearby angsana, prepared our picnic lunch as we rushed with famished stomachs upwards the tree. It was such a memorable day!
I feel that it was very fulfilling to have a family outing once in a while to help us bond. However, I know that my parents are working and it would be long before we can go out together again

Cello is not pronounced SELOH ( third entry )

It has been so long since I realised my love for dear Leiza. Well, it couldn't be sadder to say that nothing has progressed since our first date. Class has been class and dates have been...ordinary dates. I'm so accustomed to my daily routine of walking her to school, talking senseless matters in class and walking her back home, it's almost boring. It didn't take long for me to start playing my cello again. After all, I had learnt to cope with the not-so-new daily tasks.
I have always wondered why people played the cello, have checked it on Wikipedia and, have not been satisfied by their answers, even though I cannot even think of a single plausible answer to that question. I only know one thing, the cello is a beautiful instrument. To me, every part of the cello is perfect. From the scroll, to the neck, to the four strings which allowed me to play a vast spread of melodious tunes, to the body and to the end pin. The wonderful sound of the cello, is a replica of my character. I feel melancholy at times and play mellow, slow songs, or I can be beaming with happiness, and play excellent, bright pieces. I will always make time to expand my reservoir of pieces and master songs which I feel I could one day play for Leiza to hear. I feel that learning the cello was the right choice as it had exposed me to the extraordinary musical world.

A problem I encountered ( second entry )

This morning I woke up with a gamut of emotions, along with paralysing fear. Fear that everything that happened yesterday was all just a dream. After all, it was so surreal that Leiza, who is so unapproachable to my other interested friends, would confess her love to me. What would they say about me? Should we keep it a secret? What would she think of it?
There was so many questions I could not answer and I almost mistook my Tennis shoes for my school shoes( that would not end very well ).
Then, i noticed at the classroom that her bag was placed on the chair beside mine. After the usual greeting marking the start of class, we sat down, and the others started to chit-chat amongst themselves. The atmosphere at my place was unusual, a load of nervousness, with a speck of jubiation. But, just as I was just about to get used to that strange atmosphere, she grasped my hand so tightly that it almost hurt. Her palms were sweaty and warm, and so were mine. At that moment, I felt an overwhelming sense of relief. If I had a tail like a dog It would surely be buzzing with hidden joy. Then, I thought to myself: Luckily, I am not a dog. How stupid of me to think of such a thing!
It turned out that she had specially approached the teachers to let her sit beside me with the oh-so obvious excuse that "she could not see at her place".
We talked through classes with, oddly, no disruptions by teachers.
Then, the problem hit me hard.
The day after was her birthday. She told me not to go out of my way to get a present, but her eyes showed otherwise. I knew she wanted me to celebrate her birthday with her, but the problem was the present. I JUST STARTED TO GET TO KNOW HER YESTERDAY. That sentence flashed in my head and I slumped on my chair. I will not make it in time for her birthday. Nearing the end of the school, I was drowned in the thoughts of gifts I could give Leiza. By that time, I had almost given up.
Looking up at my bedroom ceiling, its white-washed facade always gave me ideas.
True enough, I jumped in freak realisation. What I needed was a girl's advice on how to make a girl happy. I whipped out my handphone so fast that I dropped it as if it were a bar of soap. The excited sweat glands on my body started pouring as I called Sonia.I kept on stuttering, and I was glad that she could not see my rosy face. The conversation lasted through the night and I slept, slowly preparing my heart for the big day. Sonia told me, "I would want a kiss from my special person."
The next day, the date was set. I told Leiza to meet me at Tampines Mall for dinner, 7.30p.m. She sat beside me, quietly staring at the white board. Her hands were shivering, and it seemed that if I touched her she would faint due to 'massive heartthrob'.
Somehow today, time, as if with a malicious intent, moved ever so slowly. I could only let each second pass by, and each minute to feel like an eternity.
I began to comtemplate the existence of so many eternities as I shuffled into my striped jacket. The night drew near, and so did the meeting time.
We had dinner and I accidentally spilled some F&N on myself.
We went to the arcade and my hand accidentally hit the game buttons too hard.
We went shopping and I accidentally forgot to bring my money.
Time, cunningly, seemed to pass so fast as the night grew old.
Our first date had so many accidents and I knew I had to make it up to Leiza.
My present.
I led her out to the park nearby. What i said then, should have made her happy.
I pointed at the starry night which I gazed upon every night and whispered in her ear, "I found my evening star tonight.....you, dear Leiza. This is your present." It must have been a shock to her. I gently kissed her on her warm cheeks. This moment seemed like an eternity too, and I wished silently for more eternities to come. I walked her home and I could see that her cheeks were flushed in the serene starlight.
Then, I saw it, that brilliant smile.
At her front gate, she told me the last words of our first date, "Hey...if you look at the stars every night, I will too be looking at it. We will then, be connected."
I smiled too.
Oh starry night, I wish that she loved my present, and that our romance would blossom.
It is not an expensive present, but it is the thought that counts.

My Heart is in a fluster ( first entry )

Something happened today in school. Even after a cold shower i still feel the warmth of her touch. Entering my dream-like state of mind I vividly remember the ethereal beauty I found in the equipment room.

Well, the day started off like any other day, Math followed by physics. The usual buzzing of the class hurt my eardrums as I retrieved my textbook from under my desk. Glinting in the corner of my eye, I found a paper note, carelessly taped to the M of my math textbook. It was really not much of a surprise to find a note stuck under my desk or such as my best friend Sonia would almost always forget her homework and sent me a note to lend her mine for 'reference'. No, this was different. This note was from the girl diagonally across the class. Her name was Leiza, half-blooded and beautiful with her hair always tied in perfect braids. I read the note repeatedly in my mind:
Dear Cedric,
could you meet me in equipment room after school?
you do know where it is right?
I want to talk to you about something, I....just need to get it off my heart.
love,
Leiza
It was written in such amazing handwriting, fine itallic with a cursive tinge, almost like an angel's words.
I was certain it was a love letter, but I did not know why a girl like her would find interest in a boy like me.
Thinking along that train of thought, time flew past, and it was soon the meeting time.
I could say that I was happy, but I was nervous. What would she say? Why in the equipment room? Again, with those thoughts filling my mind, the road from my class ended at the door of the equipment room.
I creaked the door opened and stepped in.
The room seemed almost magical. The sun gently lighted up the room, as if someone had spilled honey. And then she was there,like a cherry on top a strawberry smoothie.
I faintly remember what ensued.
The sun caressed her pretty face, as she walked slowly towards me. She took me forward and brushed her lips against mine. Her eyes, closed, looked ever so innocent, and her hair, sweetly scented, tingled my nose. For that one moment I stopped breathing, I stopped thinking too. My whole body was enveloped in that passionate kiss. However, the bliss ended as abruptly as it started, and we both parted in the evening sun. Today, I had my first kiss, and I'm falling asleep,thinking about my dear Leiza, homework left undone.
The words 'I Love You' were never said.

Well....

I'll have to start making my CA 1 BLogging, before our dear Ms Tan comes visit and asks in a mother-like tone, 'Cedric, why does your blog have not a single Decent( the word used here is the OPPOSITE of Indecent) post here. I will ultimately fail you for posting Horrendous comments about life!'